It was a strange sense of deja vu to be in a theater I'd performed in for years, this time being an audience member. The crusty blue seats had been replaced with plush red ones, but other than that nothing had changed. There was still the distinct scent; the red curtain was still there, and the expectant friends and family were finding their seats or standing and chatting with other parents. I found an aisle seat, feeling slightly out of place. It had been four years since I graduated from high school... what in the world was I doing back here?
High school had its fun and awesome moments, to be sure, but there was a constant sense of competition when it came to girls and beauty. High school girls are infamous for their drama and cattiness, and being back in the old building I felt all the old insecurities and fear rushing back. All these girls I knew, all the pretty and flirtatious girls... I wondered what they would think of me after four years... would they be judging me?... I had a fleeting urge to get up and leave.
Suddenly the lights dimmed and the first choir took the stage. It was the freshman womens' choir - I had been standing there eight years prior. They filed up onto the risers and began their first piece.
As they sang, something strange happened. I was scanning the faces of these young girls, some fidgeting, most with deadpan expressions, and a thought came into my mind: These girls are so beautiful. I blinked a few times and looked again. It was true - every girl up there, regardless of body type, height, whether she was wearing makeup or not - was truly beautiful.
When I was in high school, there was a small collection of girls who always seemed to stand out as being more beautiful than the rest - better hair, nicer smiles, better bodies. Had girls just gotten prettier since I graduated? Or was God giving me eyes in that moment to see that these girls - these women - were imagebearers of Him and so were incredibly beautiful? I couldn't believe it. I think I almost started to cry. During those teen years, beauty always seemed so far away to me, something to be chased down and grasped firmly lest it fly away at the first sign of a pimple or a pound gained.
In 1 Samuel 16:7, God tells the prophet Samuel that "man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." The Hebrew for "look" is the word ra'ah, meaning to see, perceive, or gaze at. God alone is capable of gazing at our heart while at the same time gazing at our outward appearance. He sees what we look like, both physically and spiritually. Beauty in His imagebearers, yet marred by sin. Only Christ can make us spiritually beautiful.
That night He gave me a glimpse past the superficial American standards of beauty, and I was able to see His mark on each woman standing on that stage. It was a privilege.
How has He opened your eyes to the beauty surrounding you?
- Grace Marita
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