Yearning

I can't go on Facebook too often.

Don't get me wrong, I have 500-some friends, hundreds of pictures, and about a dozen notes on it. I'm well-established. It's a tool that I use to pop into people's lives that I don't get to see every day; my friend the theater major had an important audition in Chicago; my former hallmate in New York is enjoying grad school; a pastor in Seattle I follow is doing some reading and research for a book he's writing on marriage and is depressed by some of the divorce stats he's finding.

But I tend to get too wrapped up in the immediacy of social networking, and it's causing me some (minor) anguish. The reason is, a lot of my friends are getting married.

Don't mistake me here. I'm SO incredibly happy for them. It brings me joy to see Christ-centered marriages because that gives me assurance that "'til death do us part" is possible. But especially when you've gone to a small (wonderful!) Christian college where most people tend to meet their spouse, seeing that mini-feed light up with heart icons and profile pictures of giddy girls with engagement rings brings a mixture of excitement, anticipation, and (yes, I'm sorry) a teensy bit of sadness.

All this to say, I can't go on Facebook too often, because the more I check it, the more people are engaged. And the more acutely aware I am that I am not.

I was talking to God about this last night, one of many long-winded prayers surrounding my future husband. The conversation went something like this. Me: Lord, I know You are infinitely wise and good, and that You are using this time of singleness to grow me. But Father, this is really really hard. I'm nesting. I want to stay at home and clean and cook. I want to be a wife. I want my husband to come home and be excited to see me. I want to be a mom, Lord.. I mean, 2000 years ago I'd be considered an old maid. I'm of prime marrying age --

Then suddenly, the Lord gently but firmly cut me off.

YHWH: Grace,  I will decide when you are of prime marrying age..

WOW. I shut my mouth sheepishly then, and felt my heavenly Father, wise and wonderful, asserting His authority and asking me to trust Him. I may be 22. I may want to be a wife and mother (and I believe I someday will be) but God knows when I will be ready. He knows my heart - He created it! He wired me this way, to want to be a woman who loves and serves her husband. He loves me. And, He loves you. Trust Him, as you walk through this time of preparation.

We're not speaking to a God who doesn't know what He's doing.

-Grace Marita

Welcome! And Psalm 29

Yup! After months of going back and forth, I decided to join the blogging community after all. I'm incredibly excited to test the waters and see what's going to happen with my blog.

That said, I have a confession to make. (I know, Day 1 and I'm already being vulnerable. Eek!)

Initially, I saw a blog as an opportunity to vent my feelings on various topics, experiences, what have you. But as I'm crafting this new opportunity/page, I feel something different. Bigger. More important than simply talking about my day. This might sound strange, but I feel a sort of holy awe at how God might use my writing to accomplish things for His glory. Every aspect of life - including the internet - is used by YHWH to further His plans for His glory. This can't be just a way to tell friends and family about my day. My goal is to approach each new blog entry prayerfully and be aware of God's leading to certain topics.

Why did I decide to call my blog The Beauty of Holiness? There are a couple of reasons. First, as a woman, physical beauty is something I wrestle with constantly. Culture says one thing, the Bible says another. I believe the Bible is God's Word and the absolute truth, but I also have days where I don't feel beautiful in any sense.. On those days it can be tempting to believe a few extra brushes of mascara are just what a woman needs to feel feminine.

The second reason has to do with Psalm 29, which has become a beautiful devotional psalm for me lately. The title of my blog comes from verse 2, where the psalmist exhorts us to "Give unto the LORD the glory due to His name; Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness" (emphasis mine). Lately, God has been opening my eyes to what it means to worship Him in the beauty of holiness, and how much more lasting holy beauty is when placed alongside (cultural) physical beauty.

The third reason is... GOD IS BEAUTIFUL. Since He is the source of beauty, it follows that He is the most GLORIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL Being in the entire universe. And the more time we spend with Him seeking His face, the more we focus on His beauty rather than worrying about our own.

So here I go. On a journey, following Christ, seeking His face, godly wisdom... and a few committed sisters* with which to make the journey. How about it? :)



~Grace Marita


*Brothers are always welcome here too!! Didn't mean to leave you guys out :)